Monday, January 26, 2015

14 things 7 years of relationship taught me

I have been with my boyfriend for over seven years now. For me that is pretty much a miracle because in my teenaged years I thought I was “no relationship material”. Turns out that with the right man I am.
Of course this is not the one and only list that will work for everyone, or a list you can tick off point by point to find your one and only true love. But I will tell you what has worked for us over the past years.
1. Playing games, tactics or drama has never ended in a long term relationship.
2. Jealousy is a waste of time. If he wants to cheat on you, he will and there is nothing youy can do about it. But someone who is happs with their relationship and happy with themselves won't cheat. Period. 
3. It is ok to break down in front of the person you love. He will most likely put you back together.
4. Laugh together as much as you can, every day. It is worth a lot to be able to laugh through delicate or embarrassing moments to make them less awkward. Also there is nothing better than being with a person that makes you laugh (a lot) every day.
5. Talk to each other! If there is something bothering you and you feel like you can’t let it go, tell him and find a solution together. Or maybe you will find out why things are the way they are and understand them better.
6. Spend quality time together. This can be an evening on the couch or going out. Either way it means that you were looking forward to spending time together, maybe plan something like having popcorn ;) and do so.
7. Don't forget about your friends. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you are dead to the world.
8. Stay an individual. As much as I like to be a “we” I like to be a “me” as well. My friends always tease me that I want to be asked myself if “I” want to hang out. I am not glued to my boyfriend and therefore want to be asked individually. If he doesn’t want to go out, maybe I do. I became friends with my bfs friends like that.
9. Involve each other in the decisions you make. It is fine if you want to go on vacation with your girl friends, want to take on a project that will be very time consuming, etc. but let him know what you are planning and ask for his opinion and support.
10. Say "I love you" whenever you feel like it. This can be a text, a call or face-to-face; it can happen ten times a day, on some days or occationally. When you feel it, say it and when you don't think of it, don't feel pressured into declaring your love every five minutes.
11. Flirt once in a while. Being in a relationship for years and years can make you feel invisible to the opposite sex. Everyone knows you’re in a relationship and therefore off limits so you are the good friend to everyone. Yes it is awesome to be appreciated as a good friend, but I am also a woman that wants to be noticed once in a while. A harmless flirt here and there doesn’t do any harm. Just don’t let it get too far and be clear and open about your relationship. Of course that only works if you know your man won’t die out of jealousy! We don’t want to hurt anyone.
12. Accept every facet of each other. Grumpy, whiny, annoying, sick, insecure, stressed, no makeup, tired, hyper, happy, singing, dancing, being stupid and wonderful. Nobody’s perfect and if we love them we love everything about them. Some things more and some less but love is love. ;)
13. Don't compare him with anyone. You both are the way you are and that is perfetly fine.
14. Be polite. Say "thank you" and "please". It's a very small thing that can make a big difference. Everyone wants to feel appreciated. He always takes down the trash? When did you laast thank him for it?
What would you add to my list?

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